I Just Had To Know
by CatsBalletHarveySpecter
Summary: "I think it's his turn to kiss her, isn't it?"


**Just an idea that popped into my head after seeing an interview about any potential upcoming Darvey stuff where Sarah said, "I think it's his turn to kiss her, isn't it?" So here is a one shot parallel of exactly that.**

 _"I'm sorry Harvey, I just had to know"_

It echoed in his head, repeating itself over and over, her words haunting him.

It had been three weeks since their falling out. Three weeks since they stood in the lobby screaming at one another. Three weeks since he chose her over Paula. Three weeks since they had last spoken.

Her words were eating away at him and he just couldn't bring himself to let them go. She was right, their lines had been blurred for as long as he can remember. Maybe he liked it that way, the idea that they could flirt with each other without the risk of losing whatever it was they had; whatever it was they used to have, he corrects himself.

He knows he handled the situation poorly, he shouldn't have lashed out at her, after all he was angry at himself for kissing her back. He could have stopped her, told her he couldn't do this, but the moment her lips met his, his good sense slipped away. Next thing he knew he was kissing her back before she pulled away and walked out of her office, leaving him dumbfounded and confused. He was angry at himself not only for kissing her back, but for the way kissing her made him feel alive in ways he didn't know were possible. It was clear in that moment that the spark that existed between them 12 years prior was still there, and he hated himself for not seeing it sooner. He hated himself for being with the wrong women, and for not being able to express his true feelings for the right one.

He wants to apologize to her, but he knows it's not enough, his words hurt her in a way he never meant to, the pained expression in her eyes after their fight still an image that keeps him up at night. He's made a mess and he's not sure where to go from here. He wants her back, and not just as his best friend. It may have taken him 12+ years to figure it out, but he's more certain now then ever, he can't live without her. She has always been the one person he could count on, the only person who never seemed to lose faith in him. He sits at his desk, staring at the wall he knows she's seated on the other side of, and sighs trying to muster up the courage to tell her how he feels. He wants to finally tell her how he loves her, that he has been looking at her in THAT way every time she wasn't looking for the past 12 years. He wants to tell her he made a mistake being with Paula, that it was always her he was meant to be with, and that kiss only reassured him of the feelings he had long buried. But she didn't feel anything when she kissed him, she said, so he stays seated at his desk, fiddling with a paperclip and staring at the connecting wall that was helping her keep her distance.

* * *

Mike comes into Donna's office next door and notices her staring off into space.

"Everything alright Donna? You've seemed a little distracted the past few weeks" he asks

"It's nothing" she says, trying to brush it off. Mike, who is not easily brushed off takes a seat on the edge of her desk and raises an eyebrow at her.

"You can talk to me you know" he smiles encouragingly

She sighs. If she doesn't get this off her chest sometime soon, she feels like she might explode. She takes a deep breath and looks at Mike

"I kissed Harvey" she admits

"Woah" Mike responds "When I said to tell him how you felt I didn't mean you should kiss him while he has a girlfriend, you know how he feels about infidelity"

Donna can't keep the tears from slipping and cries out "You don't think I know that! I wasn't thinking clearly, Louis had just finished telling me about how hard it was going to be to watch his soulmate marry someone else, and he was going to have to live with the regret of not telling her how he felt for the rest of his life and then Harvey walked in and I just felt like my chance slipping away!"

Mike pats her on the shoulder in attempt to comfort her, he had no intention of making her cry when he asked what was wrong. This explained why he had barely seen the pair together the last few weeks. It would also explain Harvey's foul mood and lack of spending time with Paula. Rachel had told him she thought Harvey and Paula broke up, and know he understood why.

"Donna I think you need to talk to him; you guys can fix this" Mike tries

"There is no fixing it Mike. He's livid with me for putting him in that position with Paula. Besides, some terribly things were said, and we can't take those back"

"But Donna, he isn't with Paula anymore, maybe there's a chance…?" he's interrupted by her, "It's not going to happen Mike, besides I told him I didn't feel anything, when I kissed him"

He stares at her in slight disbelief standing to leave her office, "Did you, feel something?"

"Of course I did" she says, a playful look in her eye telling him that kiss told her exactly what they had all assumed for years, she was in love with Harvey.

* * *

Mike leaves Donna's office and marches straight into Harvey's, finding him sitting at his desk staring at the wall that separates her office from his.

"What's wrong with you?" he challenges

"Excuse me?" Harvey says in slight disbelief, who does Mike think he's talking to?

"Do you have feelings for Donna or not?"

"What has gotten into you?" Harvey asks

"Nothing has gotten into me, I just can't sit by and watch two people I care about miss out on what's right in front of them because they're both to stubborn to admit how they feel"

"I am not too stubborn" Harvey protests

""What are you then? Blind? Ignorant?" Mike pushes

"Watch it Mike" Harvey warns

"Do you love her?" Mike asks

Harvey looks down at his shoes and remains silent for a minute. He considers lying but realizes it's about time he finally admitted it out loud. He finally looks up at Mike and answers, words slightly above a whisper, "Yes"

"Then tell her that!" Mike exclaims

"I won't matter! She said she didn't feel anything, when she kissed me a few weeks ago" He explains, not realizing Mike already knew about the kiss.

"Harvey, did you ever think that maybe she was just telling you what you needed to hear? That maybe she said that because she wanted to help diffuse the situation between you and Paula?"

Mike watches as the realization washes over Harvey's face. It makes total sense and he can't believe he didn't think of this before. He knew she must have felt that kiss, and it seemed reasonable that she lie, to try and protect him afterwards, she truly did always put him before herself and he will never understand what he did to deserve a woman like her in his life. Mike slips out of Harvey's office, leaving him to piece together the rest and hoping that his two friends can figure out what they mean to each other.

Harvey is leaning against his window, trying to come up with the best way to tell her exactly how he feels when she enters his office,

"Look Harvey, I think we need to talk, we can't keep avoiding each other when we work…"

Before she can say together his lips are on hers and he's kissing her with everything he has. To his surprise, she kisses him back with an equal hunger. His hands work there way through her hair and he only pulls back when they're both desperate for air. Resting his nose against hers he whispers,

"Sorry Donna, I just had to know"

A smile slowly spreads across her face and she pulls back slightly, keeping one hand planted firmly on his chest and the other wrapped around his neck. She knows she should be furious at him for what he just did; the way he was with her, but part of her has wanted him to make a move for so long that she concedes.

"Had to know what?"

"I had to know that I was right, you lied to me when you told me you didn't feel anything" she goes to protest but he continues, "And I had to show you how I feel about you"

She can't suppress her smile as she asks, "And how do you feel about me?"

"Donna you make me feel like no one else ever has. You force me to be the best version of myself and I wonder every day what I did to deserve a woman like you in my life. You challenge me and don't put up with my bull shit and you make me want to be a better man, one that is worthy of being yours."

Her heart flutters and she can't keep the tears from forming in her eyes; again. She never thought she would hear those words from him, yet somehow here he was standing in front of her, holding her in his arms and saying all the right things.

"Donna, I love you, I'm in love with you" he confesses

"I love you too" she whispers, and he pulls her in for another kiss, not caring that they were standing in the middle of his office, all he cared about was pulling her closer and never letting her go.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you" he says

"I think I'll forgive you, this time" she grins into another kiss.

"What made you so sure I lied to you in the first place?"

"I guess I figured it was about time I took a risk" he states

"Harvey Specter taking a risk on something unrelated to a case, I never thought I'd see the day" she teases

"It was either take a risk or lose you for good and I'm not too keen on losing you. You once told me if I was ever lucky enough to have you, I wouldn't want to share, you were right" he says, flashing her his trademark grin, "You're always right"

"You were right too you know" she says

"About what?" he asks

"I lied" she confesses

"I guess we both had some figuring out to do" he says, his mind wandering to how their friendship had evolved throughout the years.

"You ready to go?" she asks, handing him his jacket and dragging him towards the office door.

"Go where?" he questions

"To make up for 13 years of trying to figure stuff out" she winks.

He can't believe he almost let this amazing woman slip out of his life and he makes a mental note to thank Mike later for convincing him the risk was worth it. He takes her hand and follows her downstairs to meet Ray. It may have taken them the better part of a decade to get here, but he wasn't going to waste another second.


End file.
